It’s been over a month since the Exhumed Films 25 Hour Horrorthon and I’m still not sure I’ve fully recovered. I also got laid off right after that, so that could have something to do with it. Kinda feels like it’s just been one really long weekend. The Italian Horror Appreciation Society (Andy Marino, Matt Lambert and myself) were representing in Philadelphia. We imbibed horror for 25 straight hours, starting at noon on November 1st and ending at noon on the 2nd. The extra hour was due to daylight savings time pushing the clocks back and further perverting our sense of time. Aside from some nodding off during DESTROY ALL MONSTERS, we did not sleep. It was a really weird way to spend two days.

I vividly remember showing up at the International Hall, finding the line to be mercifully short. We had really planned the hell out of this thing and didn’t know what to expect. Were we the only New Yorkers who hopped a bus for Philadelphia on Halloween weekend? I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. Surely there would be something comparable going on in the greatest city in the world, right? If there had been, we weren’t aware of it. I know they showed THE DEVILS at Anthology on Halloween. The Walter Reade screened THE CHANGELING. And that was Halloween at the movies in New York. However, the Philadelphia marathon was a fantastically grueling twenty five hours at the movies. I took note of every film and trailer that I saw, though I’m sure I missed a few. What follows are my recollections of this bizarre pocket of time and space.

THE FOG is a film from John Carpenter’s early 80’s prime. I’ve seen it more than once before, therefore it holds very little mystery for me at this point. It’s not his best work, but it’s still prime Carpenter and it plays well with an audience. Dean Cundey was the director of photography on numerous Carpenter films, and his work here is typically great. He uses the 2.35 aspect ratio like few others. The cast is top notch as well: Adrienne Barbeau, Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh, the great Tom Atkins, and Mark Twain himself, Hal Holbrook mixed in with other Carpenter regulars. Andy noted on his blog that I partially ruined this film for him by debunking the logistics, particularly in the finale. Sorry for being a wet blanket, but there are some flaws. Nevertheless, it was a welcome, creepy and atmospheric beginning for the marathon.

Trailers: The Oblong Box, Return Of Count Yorga (hilarious), Murders In The Rue Morgue (Jason Robards!?!), Dr. Phibes Rises Again, Blacula, The Thing With Two Heads, Madhouse

DESTROY ALL MONSTERS
I had never seen DESTROY ALL MONSTERS, although I’m hardly a stranger to old Godzilla movies. I made one myself in the 80’s. It pains me to say that I think I’ve outgrown this kind of stuff. I don’t actively seek it out for viewing pleasure. That being said, this is one of the better ones I’ve seen. It moves along quickly and has a lot of action – what more could one want from a 60’s monster movie? The acting and overdubbing are totally ridiculous. The audience was loving all the unintentional hilarity. I’m sure the filmmakers knew what they were doing was funny, but I don’t think they’ll ever know how bizarre it seems to us. In a marathon it’s wise to keep the pace quick and relatively light, so this was a good choice.

Trailers: The Mummy (This was really long, seemed like 10-15 minutes, and totally awesome.)

WICKED, WICKED was the wild card of the program. I wonder just how many people have seen this film. In the film schedule it was described as “a rare treat,” and it was all of that. WICKED, WICKED is a slasher/murder mystery with no mystery and a lot of humor that takes place in a ridiculous time and place: Hotel Del Coronado, San Diego in the early 70’s. I’ll be sure to visit there at some point in the future. The script is hilarious, very tongue-in-cheek. The ex-cop/hotel security-cocksman has some really choice lines. He’s screwing this girl who works at the hotel and as a cover she tells her boss that she’s going to the dentist. That’s all the setup you need for the following exchange:

Girl: I’ve got a toothache.
Rick Stewart: Sorry, I’m not drilling today.

Oh, and did I mention the film was shot in DUOVISION?! What is duovision you may ask? It’s in split screen cinemascope for the vast majority of the running time. It really is just a gimmick, but it was used to good effect from time to time in this. I sincerely hope they’ll put this on dvd someday so I can at least see it again. Below I’ve provided some links to WICKED, WICKED content on youtube.

The Trailer:

The first 8 minutes:

The title song:

Trailers: Planet Of The Apes, Jaws, Barbarella, Captain Sinbad, Golden Voyage Of Sinbad, Star Trek

THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN
This film from 1957 gave the marathon an existential jolt. A man starts shrinking and is powerless to stop it. His home becomes an oversized alien world to him. Directed by Jack Arnold (Creature From The Black Lagoon). I found the ending to be very moving and unexpected. Recommended.

Trailer: Forbidden Planet

PHANTASM II
This was a personal favorite of the marathon. I had only seen the first PHANTASM before, and this one is a little hard to find on dvd. PHANTASM II is definitely more commercial than its predecessor, but ultimately more satisfying because of it. It’s much more slick, but it’s not really sanitized and it’s still plenty weird. This is the action film redux of PHANTASM, not unlike ALIENS relationship to ALIEN. The influence of Sam Raimi is very prevalent, including some blatant references to him. I look forward to seeing the rest of the series.

Trailers: Frogs, Night Of The Lepus, Night Of Dark Shadows, The Exorcist, Friday The 13th, Friday The 13th 3: In 3-D, Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, Last House On The Left

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET is a well-deserved classic. We’ve all seen this before, what more can be said?

CLASSICS: DARK & DANGEROUS
This was a short film that must have been made for television. It stars Keir Dullea and Ronee Blakley from the aforementioned ELM STREET. I think it was about some occult shit. Ronee sings and plays a Telecaster at one point. Then some monster jumps out of her spine. Laughably bad.

FRIGHT NIGHT
Chris Sarandon is such a creep in this, I love his work here. He seemed to specialize in playing total pricks. He plays a vampire who moves in next door to some nosy kid who’s onto his game. Murderous hijinjks ensue, recommended.

DEAD & BURIED
The movie seemed quite good, but the print was so faded and red it was almost sepia toned. I found it distracting, and at this point the uppers were kicking in so I went outside and chain-smoked cigarettes.

Trailer: Suspiria

BOOGEYMAN
Ulli Lommel. I knew that name from reading SLEAZOID EXPRESS. After some brief research on the internet I found out that he was an associate of Fassbinder. I wouldn’t expect that from the director of BOOGEYMAN. This was definitely one of the weaker films of the evening-morning-whatever the hell it was. I would describe it as derivative, also, not very good, but hey what the hell it’s 3am. I’ve seen worse.

DISCIPLES OF THE CROW
This was a short film based on the same Stephen King story that was turned into CHILDREN OF THE CORN. I’ve never read the original story, and I’ve never been a fan of the movie. I prefer this short to the film, as it doesn’t overstay its welcome. It’s small scale, low budget, and it gets the job done. A good short, and a clever segue into the next feature.

ISLAND OF THE DAMNED
This was probably the most challenging film of the evening. I was genuinely disturbed by this one, and it has indelibly left its mark on my psyche. That must mean it’s good. A slow burn, but it gets pretty scorching towards the end. The less said, the better. You should see it for yourself, it’s available on dvd under another title: WHO CAN KILL A CHILD?

FOOD OF THE GODS
From Bert I. Gordon, master of rear projection and the director who gave us EMPIRE OF THE ANTS. I adore FOOD OF THE GODS. Among other things, it berthed a new catchphrase: “Who the hell put this damn gate here?!” Synopsis: some awful muck is creeping out of the earth and turning whatever eats it into oversized monsters. Mostly huge rats who terrorize a quarterback and some other random people in the woods. This movie just wouldn’t be made the same way today, for a number of reasons. Firstly, the monsters would be CGI. Secondly, the wanton slaughter of of live rats onscreen wouldn’t bode well with PETA. And third, they’d never get a cast this great for this kind of film today. I feel a little bad for Ida Lupino (On Dangerous Ground, Junior Bonner) and Ralph Meeker (The Dirty Dozen), but I’ll be damned if it’s not a lot of fun. Former evangelist Marjoe Gortner plays the football player hero turned giant rat-killing hero. He has some pretty choice dialogue I wish I could recall. I’ll be picking this up on dvd for further “research.” If you like movies that are so bad they’re good, FOOD OF THE GODS is a winner.

EQUINOX
I briefly owned the Criterion edition of EQUINOX. Then I decided it’s no more than a curio to me and I’d never watch it again. I was wrong in a cosmic way. I would describe EQUINOX as the greatest home-movie ever made in the late 60’s. The effects are crude but imaginative and very impressive if you can appreciate low budget work (and you’re not a tool). It’s no surprise that Dennis Muren would go on to an illustrious career in special effects. Was I excited to see it again? Not in the slightest, but we were completely delirious at this point. It was amusing to be subjected to the most circular and repetitive dialogue in the history of film.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2
I didn’t even like this movie when I was young and stupid. I don’t like it much more now that I’m old and pretentious. Maybe when I’m a true intellectual I’ll be able to appreciate it. I like Dennis Hopper and the lead actress is a real trooper. Other than that, this is just loud, obnoxious and dumb. The whole “chainsaw-as-cock” substitution is a bit much for me. I like the beginning of the film, but the appreciation degrades quickly into annoyance as it wears on. At this point I decided to hunt down some seltzer. On foot I covered what must have been a ten block radius, but alas there is no seltzer in Philadelphia…

Trailers: Squirm, Night Of The Living Dead 1990, Cemetery Man, House By The Cemetery (finally some Fulci!), Rabid, Return Of The Living Dead III, Death Lives, Tales From The Crypt, Return Of The Living Dead II, Dead Alive

And we finished with RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. Another worthy classic, and a rousing end to the marathon.

Overall, I found the tone of the marathon to be pretty fun and light. I must admit I was expecting harder material considering Exhumed’s general taste. I was a bit disappointed by the absence of any Fulci or Italian horror. A bit anglocentric perhaps, with ISLAND OF THE DAMNED being the exception. Aside from that minor caveat, I’d say the horror fest was an absolute blast. I remember standing in the lobby 25 hours later feeling like time had ceased to exist. It seemed to have been a dream. I know what I’ll be doing next Halloween.